How to Make a Malfoy Beg For Mercy
by aRoseofAdifferntName
Summary: Hermione, I mean umm Amelia, is coming to Hogwarts from that wacky country accross the ocean.Will her secret be reveiled? Will Malfoy fall for her? Or worse yet, will she fall for him? R&R PG13 mild swearing in chap 2
1. You're a Genius!

Hey! My first fic in a while, eh? Please review, reviews are like oxygen, or water, or chocolate, whatever you can identify best with. :D please? It'll make my day, unless it's a flame of course. Constructive critism is always needed and appreciated, but please don't flame. Flames are like liver for dinner, or having your computer screwed up, or seeing your dog get hit by a car, once again take your pick. Anyway, thanks for at least getting this far, you might as well just read the whole thing now. hint hint  
  
I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't. I mean, Malfoy's a complete prick right? Of course I'm right. Stupid Ginny with her stupid makeovers. Stupid stupid stupid. STUPID! Guys are idiots.  
  
Leave Harry and Ron somewhere and meet me in front of that hair place next to Olivanders Tom. at 10. -G  
  
Care to explain why? I can't just leave those two; Merlin knows what kind of trouble they'd get themselves into. -H  
  
I need to get my hair done, and just leave them at that quidditch shop they like so much, that'll keep them occupied for a while. -G  
  
You're really not good with shop names are you? Never mind, ritorical question. Ok, you win. Now go to sleep, Ron's snoring kept me up last night and I'm now suffering from sleep deprivation. -H  
  
Humph. -G  
  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Ok, it didn't take very long to lose those two for a while. Led them in, said something about going to a bookstore while they were enticed in a broom accessories aisle, they nodded hypnotically and I was as free as a bird. I'll be there in a few. -H  
  
Ok, I'm just making an appointment. Oh and it's called Madame Olivia's by the way. -G  
  
For you right? -H  
  
Of course. -G  
  
"Ginnyyyyyyy!" Hermione whined at a triumphant looking red haired teen. "Not fair! You can't cheat like that! You know very well I hate all the useless makeovers you've tried to give me in the past few years. NOT ONE OF THEM HAVE WORKED. Accept it, move on, and find another helpless victim." Ginny smiled, letting the insults fly right over her. Hermione looked a bit frustrated at this.  
  
"This one will, I can feel it. Oh look, there's Olivia now." Ginny smirked at Hermione, quickly changing it into a warm smile to Olivia. A whinny Hermione sulked as she was led away to face her death. Just kidding, my gosh she's only getting a hair cut!  
  
"Oh dear! Look at zat rat's nest on you're head, we absolutely must do something about zat." Ginny suppressed a giggle at the woman's bluntness, Hermione just sunk lower into her chair. (This'll be over in a little while. I can make it through this. Just one more..) The woman brought out a wide arrangement of potions, at least twenty Hermione guessed. She mentally kicked herself for believing Ginny. Wasn't she supposed to be the smartest girl in her year? And yet this delvilish little 15 year old tricked her into at least her 5th makeover. A look of sheer dread passed over her face.  
  
#!$#%$&#%$$#!%%&%#$##$!&$%$&%$#$(#%$#!#$#%$!  
  
"OI! Hermione! You look absolutely wonderful! I'm a genius." Ginny squealed. Hermione couldn't help but disagree.  
  
"What have you done?! I look like a BIMBO!" Retorted a very blonde Hermione.  
  
"Nonsense, you look fantastic." Ginny said while rolling her eyes in her friends unwillingness to admit that she, Ginny, was a complete and utter genius. "In fact, I bet you after we get you some new robes Ron and Harry won't even recognize the raving beauty in front of them."  
  
"Of course they won't, they're guys."  
  
"True, very true."  
  
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"OI! Ginny who's your friend? Can I have her number?" Ron asked as Ginny and her very pretty blonde Hermione approached him and Harry. "My names Ron, and this is my mate Harry." Ron said sticking out his hand. Harry just stared wide-eyed.  
  
"Umm Ron.."  
  
"Not now Ginny I'm talking to....." Ron looked back at the blonde babe beside Ginny. "What'd you say your name was?"  
  
"I didn't, but I think you know." Hermione said smiling slyly at the two of them.  
  
"Hermione?!"  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!  
  
That was hilarious. The look on their faces is one I'll never forget. I admit it, you truly are a genius! -H  
  
I know. -G  
  
Ok, don't get cocky on me. -H  
  
No need for me to pretend I'm not for a stab at modesty now is there? I can't wait to see the look on some of the guys' faces at Hogwarts! Three more days! -G  
  
Yeah, Sean, Malfoy, Neville... -H  
  
Did you just say Malfoy? -G  
  
No technically I wrote it. -H  
  
Don't get smart-ass on me. -G  
  
Ok sorry. Well, you since he's made our lives miserable for practically ever, I thought it'd be fun to see the look on his face after he tries to use his Malfoy charm on me. -H  
  
OH MERLIN YOU'VE JUST GIVEN THE BEST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF IDEAS! -G  
  
Well out with it then!  
  
-H  
  
Get Malfoy to fall for you, tell him Hermione is away on a foreign exchange program, get a phony American accent, and just tell the teachers the same thing! Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, you and me will be the only ones to know the truth! -G  
  
Like that'll ever work. The teachers will never believe that, American's talk funny and there's no way I could learn there "lingo" in 3 days, and I would be in so much trouble when they found out. -H  
  
IF they find out, which I doubt they will, just tell them you were exploring different cultures or something, its not like you'll be missing school or anything, and what do you think the internets for?! Plus, just think of how humiliated Malfoy'll be. -G  
  
I can't believe I'm saying this.......but ok. Lets do it. -H  
  
So what do you think so far?? Good? Bad?? ABSOLUTLY AWEFUL?? Leave it in a review! Please, I need to know if I should continue or what not. 


	2. Reality TV and Chicken

Yay! So many reviews in so little time! Thank you so much! I'm so happy I think I'll respond to each of them:  
  
Kruchevskid: Thanks! One can never have to many pledged wombats!  
  
sassy-diva2004: lol thanks, I don't hear that one very often!  
  
resentment: I dunno, maybe I'm like caffine... yeah, we'll stick with that  
  
blackis girl: Shoot, better get to work then, dang, I'm such a slacker.  
  
miss.pega : Ok ok, if you insist. ;)  
  
justy-sylvestris-vipera: Hmm, ok, I will. :P  
  
angel718: Yes madam.  
  
Danalas the Lady Chaos: All right, just don't do anything I wouldn't do with those. Wait, that'd still be dangerous...  
  
Cole: thanks :D  
  
Chamorro: glad you think so :D  
  
SnOwFlaKe: hopefully you'll love this chappie just as much  
  
Nickie02: ok, and you're welcome :P  
  
Frifri: Wow! Thanks!!!  
  
Keep reviewing!  
  
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Harry & Ron,  
Meet us at the muggle library in town at 12. We have a plan we think you'll approve of. –H And most probably agree with too. –G  
  
That's what approve means Ginny. –H  
  
Whatever, just be there or be square. –G  
  
That sounded oddly American. –H  
  
I got a foreign language book on those wacks. –G  
  
-G & H  
  
Ginny & Hermione,  
We'll be there, but wouldn't it have been easier to just walk across the hall and tell us instead of sending poor pig? And don't Americans speak English too? H & R  
  
Harry and Ron,  
Yes, they do, and we can discuss the Americans later, right now I have to "put my face on". Haha that was another bit of America. I think it means to put on your makeup.  
-G & H  
  
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"So why are we here again? In a muggle library of all places." Ron asked Hermione as they walked into the highly air-conditioned sub arctic library. "It's freezing! Don't muggles have fire places?!"  
  
"Ron would you please keep it down and stop shouting the word muggle?" Hermione hissed. Ron looked back at Harry and rolled his eyes. Harry snorted and Hermione turned around to glare at the both of them.  
  
"Don't make her come back here Harry!" Ron laughed rather loudly. The librarian glared at them and pointed to a "NO TALKING!" sign above her desk. Ron and Harry walked quickly behind Hermione, hands in pockets, heads down. Ginny rolled her eyes at their little act.  
  
"Would you guys please behave? We really need access to the Internet, and this is the only place I could think of." Hermione whispered as she sat down in front of a rather ancient and slow looking computer. The three others all pulled up chairs next to her.  
  
"Muggles need to update their... umm whats that word dad's always using? Oh yeah technology." Ron muttered looking around at all the other computers and their frustrated users, some actually asleep. The other three nodded. Ginny started to explain, quietly of course, her genius plan.  
  
"You hate Malfoy right?" Harry and Ron nodded. "So wouldn't it be hilarious to get back at him, in a really big embarrassing way?" Once again, two nods. "And you too didn't recognize Hermione until she spoke, and if she had, say, an American accent and I told you her name was, say, Amelia, you wouldn't have know the difference and Ron would have kept asking her for her number." Ron and Harry took some time to figure out the last statement and then reluctantly nodded. "Great! My sediments exactly. So, Hermione's going back to Hogwarts as Amelia, an American foreign exchange student. She makes Malfoy fall in love with her, and then some how embarrasses him in front of the whole school." Ron and Harry stared at her open mouthed. Hermione looked nervous as they waited for a reaction.  
  
"Hermione? You agreed to this? Even knowing that the teachers would kill you if they found out?" Harry whispered in disbelief. Hermione nodded.  
  
"It's not like I'd technically be doing anything wrong. I'd still be doing my work, coming to class, taking my tests, and all that other stuff I usually do, just under a different name." Hermione justified. Harry just shook his head.  
  
"And you'd be willing to do all that stuff boyfriends and girlfriends do, with..with Malfoy?" Ron asked. Ginny rolled her eyes.  
  
"You know Ron, he isn't completely horrible looking, and she'd be doing it knowing how great it'd feel to dump him in front of the whole school and revile herself on the last day or something."  
  
"You guys are crazy, but if Ron's in, I'm in." Harry said. Ron nodded.  
  
"Great! Now we're here to make Hermione American. Look up clothes, lingo, hair, tv shows, everything. Now....GO!" They all went to a separate computer, did a little bit of illegal over the summer magic to tune them up a bit, and started Hermione's transformation.  
  
(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())((())(())((())((()))((())))((()))()()()(())) (())(())))(())((()))((())))((  
  
H: There really into reality tv. Umm "queer eye for the straight guy", "the bachelor", "survivor", odd stuff like that. Weirdos, can't just watch sit coms or cartoons like the rest of the world.  
-G  
  
H: Foods- hamburgers, ice cream, French fries (chips), their version of chips (thin patatoe slices with salt, crunchy), umm Kraft cheese?, coke (sprite, dr pepper, Pepsi), anything you can stick in the microwave, and pizza, oh and chicken, they eat a lot of chicken.  
-Harry  
  
H: Football is called soccer; football is a totally different game which they like a lot. I think it has something to do with big men pounding into each other. They wear a lot of pads for this game. And a helmet. The like baseball a lot too, bat-ball-hit-run around a field- something like that.  
-R  
  
H: They wear tons of different stuff, but it looks like many of the normal people wear print tees, minis, jeans, tennis shoes, those weird French looking hats, and flip flops.  
-G  
  
H: They say whatever, idiot, shut up, no way, freak, gay (stupid I guess, like as in: that was so gay), fag (no, not a cigarette, a poof), and bitch (I don't think you should use this one a lot, from my understanding its something of a very offensive term towards a female, oh yeah so is slut, hoe, and whore, caution when using these)  
-G  
  
"Library is now CLOSED!"said a very annoyed looking librarian to the four, who, upon there looking around, were the last ones in the library. They picked up there notes and ran out, anxious to start Hermione's transformation.  
  
Good? Ok? Bad? Please forgive the use of language in this chapter, they needed to understand Americans, and sadly those are commomenly used. Please REVIEW!! 


	3. Mini's and Flip Flops

Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! They keep me going, in fact, I wouldn't have even written today if Frifri hadn't insisted. So thank her I guess!  
  
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"Hello, my name is Amelia."  
  
"No, don't pronounce your words as much. Kind of slur some of them together."  
  
"HellomenameAmelia."  
  
"Ok, not quite like that. Try this: Hey, I'm Amelia, and you're...?"  
  
"Hey, I'm Herm.. Amelia, and you are?"  
  
"Close enough." Ginny smiled. "You are going to be fabulous! Ok, more quizzing."  
  
"Hermione, Ginny! Diagon Ally in 5 minutes!" Ron yelled up the stairs to the two girls. He heard Ginny squeal, probably fixing Hermione up for her first outing as an American, and then a door slam. "Ok then..."  
  
"Oh you look so great! Totally American!" Ginny squealed right before slamming the door. Hermione nervously turned a few times in front of the full-length mirror. She was clad in a green print tee, blue jean mini, and green flip-flops. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, and she had on ton of blue eye shadow. Ginny called it a "smokey eye".  
  
"Do they always wear such reveling stuff?"  
  
"The popular ones do. I think..." Ginny paused to look thoughtful. "Yes, yes they do."  
  
"If you say so..."  
  
"Hermione! Ginny! Fireplace! NOW!" Ron yelled up the stairs, yet again. One of his favourite past times.  
  
"Coming! Ok Hermione, stand tall, talk funny, smile a lot and get an immense interest in British guys with "cute" accents!" Hermione just nodded.  
  
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"Hey Ron, Harry, Mrs. Weasley." Hermione said to each in turn.  
  
"Wow." Harry and Ron breathed.  
  
"Hermione...!" Mrs. Weasly said, looking rather confused but still trying to smile. "It's just a phase right?" She mouthed to Ginny. Ginny rolled her eyes.  
  
"Are we ready mum?" Ginny said grabbing a handful of floo powder. The rest followed suit. Mrs. Weasley nodded.  
  
"Well..lets get going I suppose!"  
  
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Hermione was the last to tumble out of the fireplace, quickly doing a cleaning charm to get rid of the soot she had accumulated in there. Ginny took her by the arm.  
  
"We'll be going then mum!" Ginny shouted, already walking away.  
  
"You're not going shopping with the rest of us?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Ginny shook her head and ran off, tugging along Hermione.  
  
"Ok, all today you're not going to be Hermione Granger, British, you're going to be Amelia Brown, American. You're going to talk, walk, be American. Got it?" Hermione meekly nodded. "Ok, here is your first test, Parvati. Hermione looked up to where Ginny was pointing, and sure enough, Parvati was what it was directed at. Hermione took a deep breath as she neared. If Parvati figured out her bluff, there was no way the teachers, or even Malfoy who isn't exactly and idiot, would believe her.  
  
"Hullo Ginny, who do you have here?" Parvati asked nodding at Hermione, a look of confusion at the girls clothing choice clear in her eyes. Hermione, remembering Ginny's "smile a lot" advice, smiled broadly at the girl and flirtatiously at a guy that passed.  
  
"Amelia Brown, exchange student with Hermione from America." Ginny explained. Parvati smiled at this news.  
  
"I thought I recognized that look! Completely American, I don't know how I missed it before! I am Parvati, nice to meet you." Parvati said sticking out her hand. Hermione lightly shook it, mustered up her best American accent and responded.  
  
"Hey, like Ginny here said, I'm Amelia. So you go to...Fogwarts?" Hermione asked, trying not to laugh at herself. Ginny smiled.  
  
"Hogwarts Amelia." Ginny said.  
  
"Right! Sorry, funny name." Hermione responded.  
  
"So what school do you go to? I'm not very familiar with American wizarding schools." Parvati asked. Hermione sat dumbstruck for a moment, she and Ginny hadn't thought to go over schools.  
  
"Umm, Houlston." Hermione said quickly, trying her best to think of something that sounded American. Parvati looked at the both of them strangely. Ginny tugged on Hermione's arm.  
  
"Best we get going Amelia."  
  
"Right, nice to meet you Pam. Are you sure they don't sell hotdogs around here anywhere?" Hermione asked as they left behind a very offended Parvati.  
  
"Bloody Americans."  
  
REVIEW!!!!Pretty please? 


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